How Feminism is Ruining The Dating Game

As women are being seen more and more as equals, I fear that we’re also running away from the characteristics that make the female kind so powerful.

A strong working woman no longer needs a man to live the lifestyle she desires.  Women now have this view that a man should come correct.  Doesn’t he know how good of a catch I am? A real man doesn’t play games and pursues you, as chivalry is not dead.

I agree, chivalry is not dead, but chivalry is not what it was back in the 20s either.  Back in the 20s, a man would see you at the fair, instantly be attracted to you and decide he wants to make you his wife.  It looks romantic in the movies, but what woman this day and age is going to commit to a man for life who hits on her at say the grocery store and bases the decision of wanting to be with her for the rest of his life so instantly? Doesn’t that mean he only likes you for your looks?  Back in the 20s this worked, as women needed a man to take care of them.  These kinds of marriages lasted because women were required to put up with the bullshit, because if they didn’t, who would take care of them financially?  Now that we are no longer financially dependent, we can take our time to carefully choose our life partner.

All this is great, but with this new surge of strong women, I find that women are now shutting down the single most important thing us women provided in the dating game – VULNERABILITY.  I believe that men are stronger physically, but women are stronger emotionally.  Men lead with attraction and women lead with their hearts.  I’m finding that a lot of successful single women these days run the minute things get tough in the dating game and it’s not going the way they want.  They won’t admit it, but their egos can’t handle them being rejected.  So instead of allowing themselves to be vulnerable, they convince themselves that they don’t like the guy and that if he’s not stepping up correctly, he’s not worth her time.  But why is the man expected to step up, if he doesn’t know how you feel?  Women are the superior gender in relaying their feelings, allowing themselves to be vulnerable, and helping a man open up his heart.  So why are we now trying to be more like men and closing ourselves off?  Just because we continue to close the gender inequality gap, doesn’t mean we abandon the characteristics that make us female.

As I close off, I leave you with this thought – you open up your heart and he doesn’t feel the same, what’s the worst that can happen? You get rejected? You gave it a shot and are left with no what ifs and move on.  Afterall, being the emotionally superior race, who better than a woman to move on from heart break? We’re hopeless romantics that believe in love and we’re brave enough to keep trying – because when a real mutual human relationship between two people despite the ups and downs works, it’s AMAZING.  It’s worth all of it and is what makes life worth living.

So drop your ego, be vulnerable, open your heart, give it a shot and embrace your femininity in all of it.

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5 Comments on “How Feminism is Ruining The Dating Game

  1. I disagree…I think. (I’m slightly confused by your meaning, haha). Men are not always stronger physically, and women are not always stronger emotionally. That is a generalization. I am not sure what exactly you mean by vulnerability. Could you explain that more? Thanks. 🙂

    • When I say men are stronger physically this is a generalization, but there are always exceptions. If you compare weight lifting – strongest man vs. stronger woman, the man will be able to lift more. That is what I mean by physically. Women being stronger emotionally, again a generalization – but when I say this, I think of the strength of a mother. So I definitely agree with you, both are generalizations, but I made them to prove a point. I see vulnerability (especially in terms of dating/relationships) as putting your guard down, letting someone know how you feel without having any idea how they feel, so there’s a chance they may not feel the same. It’s allowing yourself to get hurt, for the chance of something beautiful.

      • Absolutely. The way I see it, if you wanna hang out with a guy, ask him. If you feel like calling, call him. And…if you feel enough time has passed where there’s a lot of mixed signals and you are having feelings – just tell him. The last thing you want to do is be scared of rejection and then he starts seeing someone else only to find out he liked you all along but didn’t know how you felt. Or invest all this time to find out he feels nothing for you – at least you can move on sooner! Believe me, EVERYBODY moves on. Just because you asked him out doesn’t mean he can’t be chivalrous in other ways. 🙂

      • Agreed! I asked a guy out recently. It did not work out for me – he said yes in person then that he did not have time on Facebook (B.S. answer) – but it’s for the better. My sister made the first move, and now she is happily married! I guess the title of your post is confusing me, haha. I think we might understand feminism differently. 😛

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